Stephen Colbert + text posts
(609): And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
(916): The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I’m gonna bag me a rhino.
(940): Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
(847): Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
(847): It’s vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t’s in that word.
(512): Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
(314): I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
(425): I don’t need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
(902): he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa…opera style…
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