Stephen Colbert + text posts
(360): i don’t have parental supervision. i’m gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
(775): You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
(832): moral of the story: I’m going to stab everyone
(845): I’m not upset with you; I’m upset with Fox News.
(512): Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
(785): this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
(862): I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
(562): that was a gay-test. you passed.
(1-562): with flying rainbow colors i hope!
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